You just made me feel so damn special
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
