maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
