Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Randomize
