watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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