Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
