homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
