Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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