what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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