well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
