Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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