I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
