ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
