saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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