I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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