She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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