My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
