Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
