I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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