dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
