Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
