this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
