Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It's official drugs can't kill me
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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