I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
