Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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