Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
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