I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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