I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
