just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
