I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
