so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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