So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
