I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
PANTIES FOUND
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
