White coat. Heels.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
