I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
