Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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