yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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