I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Randomize
