Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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