was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Randomize
