I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
