When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
