I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
