oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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