I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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