she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She bit a glass in half.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
