We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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