Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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