Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
