Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
