Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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