i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
